Should I be on a dating app? It’s a question almost all singletons have asked themselves at least once over the course of being single. Take it from us, being single is great. It’s glamourous, adventurous and fun, but there are some days we feel a pang of loneliness where we crave companionship and a little bit of sweet love – especially amidst this global pandemic where we crave human interaction more than ever. While the option to join dating apps are plenty and many, its widely disliked despite being commonly used. We talked to three ladies who gave their insights into the world of online dating.
Alice, 26, Single
I only started using dating apps early last year and my experience so far has been quite toxic. I’m not even sure if toxic is the right word, as if it implies it is bad for you. I don’t think using dating apps themselves are bad, but I think you kind of fall into a cycle of “if this isn’t working out, I don’t have to try to work on this relationship out with this person, since as people say, ‘there are plenty of fish in the ocean’. It’s much easier avoiding the problem than facing it head-on. It’s cowardly, I know, but when everyone is ghosting at the slightest disinterest, it becomes a norm. It’s weird because as much as it is bad it can be so good too. I’ve met a lot of people who I can now call my friends and the taboo of meeting someone weird or creepy is old. It’s very easy to spot which profiles are real and which ones are looking for quick fixes… although I must admit people have gotten a lot smarter with their tactics.
I think from my experience, what I can share is that do what makes you feel comfortable. If you feel unsafe make sure to let your friends know where you are or even better, share your live location in preparation for the worst. As for me, would I be going back to dating apps? I think the answer for me in this moment is a no. I think I’m in need of a bit of a detox. I kind of lost myself to dating app and now I’m left completely clueless as to what I truly want in a relationship. And I think that’s the case for many people. They’re not completely sure what they want but it’s as if they want answers from a dating app. But when you’re walking without a destination, it’s equivalent to walking in circles.
Katherine, 20, In a relationship
When it came to meeting people, I always resorted to relying on “traditional” and “organic” methods- never did I really very seriously think of signing up on dating apps, let alone meet with people I had chatted with online and potentially pursue a serious romantic relationship. But over time, I had heard so many stories of success and fun from friends. They had nagged at me to give it a go and honestly I thought why not? What’s there to really lose? Go into the app with no expectations and just see what it’s like and what all the talk is about.
So I did it. I installed Bumble and suddenly it had become the app I was spending the most screen time on. I was admittedly on there for the jokes- and it was initially quite exciting to be swiping on random strangers with no repercussions. As a girl, I was also a little worried about what kind of creeps I could’ve encountered, but that’s the great thing about Bumble- the girl chooses who she wants to initiate a conversation with. You will most certainly meet a whole bunch of different people, but ultimately get an interesting conversation out of it. I started using Bumble with little to no expectations and to my surprise actually connected with a pretty great guy who I’ve been dating for a while now :)) To answer if you should be on a dating app, I say why not! Just be sure you know your own limits and where to draw the line. Go in with an open mind and play along with what comes your way.
Joyce 24, In a relationship
I’m not going to lie, speaking in complete honesty, I do miss being on dating apps. Maybe it’s the attention or feeling the control of choosing which person you want to meet. I remember getting ready for a date always felt like the movies. Where the female protagonist goes through a montage of picking out clothes to wear for a date while the friend gives feedback. I guess I liked the process and uncertainty of it. Not knowing where things are heading but just enjoying the company. While almost all of my dating app dates didn’t work out, I did learn a lot more about people in general. I met people who work in completely different fields to me, and it always fascinated me to hear their stories. I’m naturally a social butterfly so I think it was the extrovert in me that was excited to be with someone new every once in a while.
I’m now in a committed relationship and the happiest I’ve ever been. We didn’t meet on a dating app, it actually happened when I finally decided to get off the apps for good. It wasn’t because I disliked the app, but I felt like genuine connections couldn’t be made. I’m sure you’ve all heard the stereotypes that people on dating apps are only looking to get over their ex or they’re just looking for a one-night stand and while I do agree it’s not always true, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. If you do find a true connection through the app both physically and emotionally, you’ve found a diamond in the rough. I think the major difference between meeting someone on the app and off the app is that the stigma of someone being on a dating app doesn’t follow. I think it was embedded in my mind that anyone I meet on the app is not serious and I somehow manifested that.